My cancer anniversary

In mid October 2011 I snapped up a solid portion of General Tso chicken and commenced to chaw. Within the hour I would be hurling in an ambulance to Mt Sinai Hospital, where an ENT resident would gravely inform me I had "a mass" growing on one of my tonsils.

Within the next week it was revealed I had a blob of tissue larger than a golf ball hosting itself in my throat.

Cancer is the brand leader in mindshare of fatal diseases. I like to think I was presenting as stoic, but I was confused, terrified, and very, very ill. At Princess Margaret Hospital Dr Andrew Bayley, one of Canada's leading radiation oncologists caromed into a tiny examination room with an entourage of residents and a comic disposition. Bayley's ready humour was a modus operandi designed to diffuse my fear, and amuse me whilst necessary medical processes were sequenced around my disease.

This could not have come at a worse time. We kids were hosting a large group for my father`s 80th anniversary. And my 23 year old son Erin, whom I had not seen since he left for studies at the Vancouver Art Institute was among the guests of honour.

Erin was excited to find out that Occupy had just taken over St James park. His mind was full of thoughts of drum circles and protests. Instead, he was with his father in Chemo. Herein is a gallery of my journey that began Nov 2011 and ended on Friday the 13th, January 2012

The results speak for themself. One year later the tumour mass has been evaporated off the face of the planet. I am 100% cured of the original illness. My ancillary tissue damage is largely mediating itself. I might lose some hearing. I am alive!

Music:

Grateful Dead A Touch of Grey
Dear reader here's a piece of information that will help you enjoy this song selection... radiation therapy is given in doses in units of grey.

Sir Elton John Someone Saved My Life Tonight

In 1630 Tycho Brahe is the most important astronomer of his day. Johannes Kepler is a peer, working immediately under the influence of the master. It is Kepler's Rudolphine Tables that predict solar and lunar eclipses. Most famously, it is Kepler who first logs a supernova, although it would be centuries before this superb observation would be fully appreciated.

On the third week of December 1638 there occurred a total lunar eclipse of a full moon. It was witnessed by:

• Pope Urban VIII
• King Charles 1st of the United Kingdom, whose delegation was in negotiation with the Ming Dynasty for a vast range of trade rights. 

This eclipse was predicted by Keppler's follower Jeremiah Horrocks. Horrocks  would be the greatest living astronomer to document it although sadly Horrocks had less than 4 years to live.

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Three Hundred and Seventy Two years later, on Dec 21 2010 I was a witness to the first total lunar eclipse to occur on the day of the Northern Winter Solstice since 1638. Something witnessed by Horrocks, but not Brahe und Kepler. And, as the previous winter solstice full moon eclipse occurs every several centuries, the next lunar eclipse to occur on the Solstice until sometime in the mid 21st Century.

My regular readers will recall that I made the following fb posting...
"Tonight I witnessed Luna surrounded by a ring made of 4 pairs of her star-sisters. Even Venus came rising over and gave her a kiss. Other stars formed perfect grid patterns around her. The Universe has shone me a huge piece of its puzzle."

While witnessing it I felt like I was witnessing the clockwork of the universe. I could actually hear it whirring (just what they say about Auroras borealis and australis)

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I know now that a large part of what I witnessed is called the Winter Hexagon. It is the natural celestial alignment during that time of year. every year. The difference was that with the lunar eclipse blocking the moon, the geometry of the stars was emphasized. I am particularly impressed that Orion's "belt" has rotated 30 degrees and has transited the constellation median. (That is, it's on the wrong side)

Thanks to Uncle Bob for the Winter Hexagon image

Shout out to the winter hexagon

Year in Review: Top Ten Quotes of 2012

1. For The Win: Barack Obama responding to Romney`s claim US Naval Strength was greater in 1916 (?!)
   "Well, Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets."
   
2. "You know, I take that as a compliment... Better a MILF than a cougar... so tell him I said thank-you."
   BC Premier Christie Clark on a talk radio show
3. Charlie Sheen
   "I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars."
4. "The Arab Spring, Occupy Wall Street and the recent presidential elections have shown the power of real-time communications and citizen journalism, but today it’s still difficult for citizen journalists to earn money on even the most amazing content."
   Anton Gelman, chief executive, Cont3nt.com
5. John Sculley – Former CEO of Apple and PepsiCo
   "Digital Health feels like the PC industry in the early '80′s."
6. "Our Nation's 41st president George H W Bush has passed away in Houston. Tune to WBAP 820 AM for the latest."
   News Talk WBAP
7. "A message erroneously reporting the death of President George H.W. Bush was sent out moments ago by WBAP News," it said. "Mr. Bush has not passed away. We sincerely apologize for this error."
   WBAP News director Rick Hadley
8. Lady Gaga on her fans.
   "Some artists want your money so they can buy Range Rovers and diamond bracelets, but I don't care about that kind of stuff. I want your soul."
9. Joel Stein, Time.com Can Obama Overcome the Urkel Effect?
   "Obama has done a good job passing, with his nice suits, easy smile and attractive wife. But those are just the over-30 nerd trappings of success... Sure, he played high school basketball, but how many cool kids play indoor sports in Hawaii?"
10. "As far as trade is concerned, Canadian businessmen don’t know who Pussy Riot are."
    Konstantin Trofimov, Russia’s trade commissioner to Canada

Danger: Malware Ahead!

So I just went to good ole Torontoist.com to find out what hipsters such as myself were going to be doing ironically tonight. And then this popped up in my browser:

Danger: Malware Ahead!
Google Chrome has blocked access to this page on torontoist.com.
Content from media.torontolife.com, a known malware distributor, has been inserted into this web page. Visiting this page now is very likely to infect your computer with malware.

Malware is malicious software that causes things like identity theft, financial loss, and permanent file deletion.

My readers know I use the Chrome Browser build 23.0.1271.97 m

Note that the alert does not indicate the source as the actual site: http://torontoist.com/. The source is the ad server media.torontolife.com.

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Update from Torontoist's Hamutal Dotan (12.27.2012 3:03 PM)

Thanks for letting us know Alan. It's an issue with an ad that has now been disabled. We've requested review from Google, since as far as we know there wasn't actually any problem with the ad itself, and we're not sure why it was flagged.

best,

Hamutal

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Hamutal adds "Please note that it is St. Joseph Media and not Torontoist that's doing the investigating, since we Torontoist and Toronto Life are operated by the same publisher.".

In other words, they are totally on top of it. Way to go!

Africa For Norway - New charity single out now! Official Christmas video

Although I am not a curmudgeon by Alan Zweig standards, I do look askance at our culture's willingness to be manipulated by sentimental twaddle. And now the Norwegians agree with me...

Let me quote from Africa for Norway, a parody fundraising website - "Imagine if every person in Africa saw the "Africa for Norway" video, and this was the only information they ever got about Norway. What would they think about Norway?"

The manifesto of "Africa for Norway":

Fundraising should not be based on exploiting stereotypes.
Most of us just get tired if all we see is sad pictures of what is happening in the world, instead of real changes.

We want better information about what is going on in the world, in schools, in TV and media.
We want to see more nuances. We want to know about positive developments in Africa and developing countries, not only about crises, poverty and AIDS. We need more attention on how western countries have a negative impact on developing countries.

Media: Show respect.
Media should become more ethical in their reporting. Would you print a photo of a starving white baby without permission? The same rules must apply when journalists are covering the rest of the world as it does when they are in their home country.

Aid must be based on real needs, not “good” intentions.
Aid is just one part of a bigger picture; we must have cooperation and investments, and change other structures that hold back development in poorer countries. Aid is not the only answer.

Visit Africa for Norway for the entire deconstruction.

Top Ten Reasons to hate French numeration

Other than the Bablyonian language Βαβυλών no language has worse names for numbers than French

French starts normally (that is, like almost every other planetary language) with words that mean 1 through 10 (une, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix). Notice the dark storm cloud of trouble. The French are so precious with their language so why would they use the English word "Six" to represent 6? Trouble lay ahead.

Like all romance languages we go into the special word name numbers: onze, douze, treize, quatorze, quinze, seize. That's 11 through 16, using word roots based on 1 through six elevated to the decimal of ten. Excellent syntax!

Then it all goes pear shaped. 17, 18, 19 are represented by words that translate as ten-seven, ten-eight, ten-nine. There is a brief moment of quiet and heuristic algorithmic sanity as we reach the verbal plateau "vingt". We are at the word for twenty.

From here on in French number names bear more resemblance to downhill skiing and children's Christmas wishes than they do to the brilliant mathematical logic that one otherwise associates with French intellect. BONUS- it's in "You do the math" format...

21= Vingt et un (translation Twenty plus one)
31= Trent et un (translation Thirty plus one)
41= Quarante et un (translation Fourty plus one)

The concatenation of numeraux Français continues thusly, more nursery rhyme than Principia Mathematica, until we arrive at the whopper of all number word names:
soixante-et-onze – translation: sixty and eleventy!!! If my child came home and stated the total of some mathematic operation was sixty plus eleventy, I would have him or her sent for testing for developmental handicaps.

Now their number name system degenerates into "you do the math” concatenations, viz
"soixante-dix-neuf" sixty-ten-nine (79 in any language normally used to express mathematics)
The penultimate point of derivation is reached at
"quatre-vingt-dix-huit" A name which means four, twenty, ten, eight. But you have to be French to know that means four TIMES twenty PLUS ten PLUS eight.

If the French hadn't given us soixante-neuf it would be impossible to forgive them.

For now, I say 34 and one half. Anytime, anywhere. You have my email address. Smooches

An Open Letter to the Art Gallery of Ontario

I am writing to express my extreme displeasure with your repugnant marketing campaign that accompanies the Frida Kahlo exhibit as described in the Toronto Star's Oct 20, 2012 article "Unibrows rule in Toronto in celebration of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo"


Your actions here are repugnant because:

• It endorses a commercial view of the beauty ideal for women, in particular mocking natural facial hair
• It was clearly developed by wealthy and privileged women who conform to the ideals of fashion magazine attractiveness
• It is racist toward all woman of Latin American, Mexican, Spanish and South American descent, who are differently hirsute
• It trivializes the work of an artist who struggled her entire life to have a successful career from under the shadow of Diego Rivera
• It rips off the work of a Canadian artist, namely the film “Stupidity” by Albert Nereneberg
• It is not even clever

You are a tax-funded institution and are only entitled to your suck at the public teat if you conform to the Ontario Human Rights Code.

The Art Gallery of Ontario is racist and anti-women, and steals from artists.

The person responsible for this abhorrent promotion must be fired, an apology issued, and a donation made to a Latin American women's art collective.