I took the week off. Meaning today was the first day when I had some “me” time. In fact, my first week of vacation since earlier this year. Which maybe explains what happened when I ran to the store to grab a few things necessary to make Turkey pasta pomodoro.
I'm a guy. I shop like Arnold plays the Terminator. March around in boots, scan for the target, and capture it. So I wasn't in an emotionally delicate state as I whizzed passed the electric doors. And scanned the red shopping baskets and acquired the one with the least garbage in it.
As I swiveled my head across the grocery section my eyes locked on the end-aisle display of boxed chocolates. My left hemisphere was whizzing like an IBM computer as I noted the very good price. But... I already had several superior box of chocolates at home. All received free, as happens at this time of year.
I resumed my swiveling scan and acquired the cherry tomatoes. Hmm, $1.49. Price=favorable. But again I already had tomatoes at home, and they had in fact garnished brunch. Next target – mini-baguettes. Mission- calculate optimum expiry date.
Off I went, dodging shopping carts and teenage stock clerks who treat the packed produce section as it they are playing Grand Theft Auto VII. (And kudos to them - it sounds like fun). And suddenly there was a temporal rift. The muzak switched to that hopefully grand piano sadness that intros "Clocks" that big Coldplay hit. The one with “Home, home, where I wanted to go”.
And I immediately start weeping.
Not tearing in the corner of the eyes. Not a single tear down one cheek. Full waterworks, like Tammy Faye Baker finding Jim in bed with the hookers.
It's not even a song I like. I don't vomit when I hear it on the radio, but neither have I ever sought it out on YouTube.
And now this song was transporting me to another state of existence. And as I stood there in a puddle of my own tears, my sole thought was “My life is perfect”. Yes – I was transported into a state of ecstatic revelation. A state of grace, immersed in the power of whatever it is that others call Jahweh, Buddha or L Ron Hubbard.
When I regained my composure I floated through the store. Of course the mini-baguettes weren't stale. Yes I remembered to buy that thing I'd forgotten to put on the list. Snapped up Perrier 4 for 5 bucks. A freezer case bursting with bacon on a great price. And I love eating bacon with breakfast when I'm on vacation. But I am a cancer survivor now. That means I have to live life differently - like someone who's been cured, and plans to stay alive.
I found the one checkout with no one at it, and sailed through. By now my revelation was so intense that the Matrix was fully revealed to me with the world running in source code as I savored the nuances of how we exist. The crazy bike guy whizzed by with the weird stuff he collects in his huge weird trailer and I cried “Merry Christmas`` though I knew he would not hear it. I just wanted to wish him to have merriment. I turned a corner and impossibly, the same crazy bike guy again passed me, going along different coordinates and with the huge trailer now empty. So this time I cried "Happy New Year”.
They had changed something in the Matrix. I`m hoping it means 2013 is going to be a better year.
Song - Clocks, by Coldplay.